The article tried to justify what these ex-moms had done by making the false claim that it's OK when men do it. Looks like someone didn't get the memo about the fact that deadbeat dads are not considered paragons of virtue.
One of the women featured in the Yahoo! Shine piece also wrote an article at Salon defending her choice and she also went on the Today show to extol the virtues of her transformation from traditional mother to absentee mother to part time mother.
Another became a self proclaimed "spiritual adviser" after ditching her kids to move thousands of miles away and "find herself". She says that electronic communication enables her to occasionally hear about her children's lives without her, so that makes her a good parent.
"Now we stay in touch by phone, IM, Skype a few times a week," she says. "I hear about their lives and give support."I wonder how the kids that were left behind by these women feel about their new fangled "redefinition" of motherhood? There are some things that you just can't do over Skype... You can't kiss booboos, wipe away tears, tuck them in at bedtime or hug and kiss them a million times a day - and I don't care what anyone says, those things are important!
There is a great post over at Daffey Thoughts about this that I think sums it up quite nicely:
You don't need to run away from your life and fabricate a new one to "find yourself", just look in the mirror: you are right there. If you don't like what you see, do something about it, but not at the expense of your children; they are only young once and that time is fleeting, don't miss out on it!
An author embraces the ultimate in narcissismAnd a media outlet goes gaga. Not surprising. The dangling carrot of our dying civilization, the thing that keeps people pressing on toward the ethics of our inevitable doom, is the promise that by focusing exclusively on ourselves we will find ultimate meaning in life. That our meaning is defined by us focusing on us to the exclusions of all those not-us people in the world.
It's an intoxicating proposition that has been around for ages. To think I am the single most important person in the world second to none is appealing to say the least. Now don't get me wrong. What Rahna Reiko Rizzuto did is up to her. I personally find it indicative of the worst, most sickeningly cancerous thinking in our modern world. But what gets me is the piece itself.
It's clear that the writer of the Shine article is gushing over her decision to divorce her husband and abandon her kids so she can spend a life completely focused on herself. This isn't a woman who decided she doesn't want to be a mother, and so avoids having children at all costs. This is a woman who is a mother who, half way around the track, decides she doesn't want to be one and takes the necessary steps. Naturally, she says everything is better for it. Her relationship to her kids, her life, everything. Personally, I've always been of the feeling that if you improve a relationship by abandoning it, that says more than you want to about your role in the problems.. But that is neither here nor there.
What caught me, in Shine's slobbering adoration of her story, was the typical ability the media has of justifying its hallow promises by setting up untrue realities. Take this little snippet:
"It also goes against our culture's definition of motherhood. But it shines a light on a glaring double standard: When a man chooses not to be a full-time parent, it's acceptable—or, at least, accepted. But when a woman decides to do so, it's abandonment."I'm sorry, I missed where, in our culture of despising the delinquent dad, the absent father, the runaway male, that men are somehow off the hook for being a part time dad. Part time meaning, in this case, essentially abandoning the wife and kids to lead a life focused exclusively on self. Can someone tell me when this has happened that everyone has said, "Hurray! well done fellow!"? I can't either. Read the rest
Most kids don't grow up lamenting that they wish their parents had spent LESS time with them, and most parents don't look back wishing that they'd missed more of their kids' childhoods. Wouldn't you rather have treasured memories of your time together instead of just some emailed photos of what you missed?
UPDATE: This post was kindly linked to and quoted from at Daffey Thoughts, thanks, Dave!
UPDATE: This post is in the recommended reads list at Pundit & Pundette, thanks, P&P!
UPDATE: This post is mentioned and linked at Blue Jeans and Lace, thanks, Tlchimes!
UPDATE: This post is linked at On the Other Foot, thanks, Joel!
UPDATE: This post is linked at Capitalist Preservation, thank you, Will!
UPDATE: This post is listed in Larwyn's Linx at Doug Ross, thanks, Doug!
UPDATE: Pundette has a great post about the collapse of the family & has linked to this post. Thanks!
UPDATE: This post is linked at That Mr. G Guy's Blog, thanks, Mike!
UPDATE: This post is linked at adeliemanchot, thanks, Adelei!
You can help support the work done here at the Zilla blog and at the A-C page by buying ad space (which is good for you, too, and special discounts are available), shopping at my Amazon store, or of course, hitting the Tip Jar.