I’m Baaaaack!!!

PLEASE come visit me st my new joint, AxZilla.com, where I hope to have something for everyone eventually, but for niw it is just my safe space to exercise my Freedom of Speech and express myself after being denied such liberties for many long lonely years in the woods with nothing and nobody but FM radio and my Bible collection. i have fought long & hard to survive and still feel as if i am under siege. i have SEVERE CPTSD and it effects my ability to communicate and focus i was horribly abused and it has not exactly ended yet please be patuent with me AxZilla.com is a work in progress and so am i i have survived many unspeakable things and am badly damaged but I SURVIVED AND I AM BACK AxZilla.com i have missed you all i never stopped loving you thank you to everyone who ever cared or still does i need a lot of help please pray for my children, my mother, and my few precious trusted friends and if you can help me get over this last set of obstacles that i must face, via prayers, kind thoughts, or tip jar rattles, I will be grateful & i promise to always pay it forward peace be with you all Amen xo

I Am Still Here - God Help Me

Depending on whether people still have this old backup blog still in their feeds, and if this thing is still syndicated in some relic of my social media thingies, I don't know if anyone will see this or care; but if you can and you do, I am still alive but my life is 3rd world crossed with Jerry Springer Show level hortible. I am a survivor of domestic violence, gaslighting, and coercive control. So were my children. We tried to escape in 2018 and it went VERY BADLY. I was forced to go back to my abuser. It is ALWAYS WORSE when you go back!!!!! I survived another year of escalated terror and left again in 2019. In 2020 the entire legal system failed me in every way imaginable. EVERYTHING and EVERYONE has been taken from me. My children are gone. I live in extreme poverty in the middle of nowhere in a house that is falling apart and I have lived this way since last year. I have lived without indoor plumbing, heat, utilities, and money for a very long time and very often without food. I was 5'4" 140 lbs last year. I am around 90 lbs now. I have no pants that do not fall off. Everything is gone. I am still here. I lost my family, my friends, my reputation, my pets, my health, my vision, almost all the modern conveniences that most people take for granted and some of my teeth. Apparently the man I married is entirely above the law and I am completely powerless. All I know is isolation, depravation, degradation, sorrow and misery. But I am still here, because fuck him. Nobody should have to live like this. He wants me dead and out of the way. I am still here. My life is fucking horrible and I hate every single day of it, but I am still here. Domestic violence is real and the legal system is fundamentally corrupt and biased against crime victims. I am still here. I love and miss you all. Please pray for me. Please believe survivors. We sound crazy because our abusers do crazy evil shit to us and everyone believes THEM. Domestic violence is real. Please believe survivors. My miserable existence is a perfect example of why women (and some men) don't leave ---- because nobody believes us and we lose fucking EVERYTHING if we do. Domestic violence, gaslighting, and coercive control are EVIL and VERY REAL. Please believe and pray for survivors. Please pray for me. I truly do love and miss you all. Sincerely, Zilla (Mare)

Blog Down

If you've tried to visit MareZilla.com & it ain't working for you, fear not, cuz it ain't working for me either. I called my server's tech support but they think it's a WordPress issue so I'm on my own to figure it out. I have no idea how long that will take, so please wish me luck!



UPDATE:  MareZilla.com is back up, but I lost EVERYTHING that I had put there in the four years since moving from here at Blogger to a self-hosted site. My only consolation is that I'd been too ill to be much of a blogger the past couple of years anyway, but it still stinks to lose four years worth of work.

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Email Me: Zilla@MareZilla.com

MOVING! This is the last Zilla post at Blogger

Zilla of the Resistance has moved! I am now blogging not only with my own domain but on my own server, too! Please be sure to visit me at the New and Improved Zilla of the Resistance at MareZilla.com!

Please update your bookmarks and blogrolls!

I will be keeping the original Zilla of the Resistance blog up at it's present address so my archives are easily accessible for anyone who needs them or wants to look around. For some reason, I was unable to export the entire archive - only the last 11 months relocated - and there are some good things in my first year's posts that I do not want to lose.

For those of you who are wondering, my tooth still hurts and I am still sick, but staring at the computer and trying to teach myself things that I have never done before is a good distraction, and I am slowly getting better (I hope).

I look forward to seeing you at my new home: Zilla of the Resistance at MareZilla.com   http://marezilla.com

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3 Hours of Oral Surgery Yesterday

After 3 failed rounds of antibiotics to treat my Dental Hell, I went back to the Oral surgeon yesterday.

Let's Make a Miracle Happen

America's Last Real Reporter, Robert Stacy McCain has been enduring weeks of grueling on the road campaign travel to bring us the very best in Conservative coverage for the Republican Presidential Primaries, and he has been doing it all on hits to his tip jar from readers like you. Stacy now finds himself 400 miles from home with his son Jefferson and in need of a miracle.

Quick Resister Update

Sorry I have not been back sooner, but it's been a heckuva week!

This Ain't Gonna be Pretty - UPDATE: THANK YOU!!!

This is what it looks like when I start to break. It ain't gonna be pretty, but if I'm going down, I might as well share my meltdown here so you won't have to wonder where I went or what the happened, it will all be right here, and anyway, it's fun to watch other people crack, right?

Take Your "Outrage" and SHOVE IT! Victory Tinkle Edition

It will be a cold day in hell before I ever side with genocidal, islamic supremacist, terrorist, primitive, ignorant, backward, evil savages (who want to kill us, have killed us, and are plotting to kill us again at every opportunity), and their anti-American, limp-wristed, hand-wringing, gutless, yellow-bellied, lily-livered, spineless, sycophant enablers over our brave and heroic troops who risk and even sacrifice their lives every damned day for this country. Woe to those who are bitching and moaning because a couple of dead jihadi TERRORISTS got a little tinkle on their carcasses.

Flames, Fevers, Furnaces, and Other Fun Stuff

TrogloPundit did not win a Zilla Award this year, but he has generously created a graphic for anyone else who did not get one that they can proudly display wherever they like:

There are lot more Bloggers who I had wanted to honor in my Awards post, and more categories that I wanted to include, but I was not feeling well and ended up cutting the post short. I feel bad for leaving off some faves who should have been recognized but weren't, hopefully I'll do better next time.

Welcome to the First Annual Zilla Awards for Awesomeness in the Dextrosphere!

Dental Hell

Back in October, you may recall, I had a broken tooth that finally went bad in a full blown infection. See here, here, and here for reference. Thanks to the magnificent Tip Jar Hitters, I was able to go to the oral surgeon and get root canal instead of having the tooth pulled which would have also taken all the molars on that side of my upper jaw because the bad tooth holds up a bridge over a space where two other bad teeth had been removed in years gone by (I am prone to these sorts of infections no matter what I do, unfortunately). Half of the root canal was completed and I was given a temporary filling until I could find someone to watch my kids so I could go back and have them finish the job. The fact that I had been without a car also complicated my ability to get back to the dentist's office for followup. My mom has been up visiting for new Year's and my little girl's birthday, and I have my car back, so I was able to go back yesterday to the oral surgeon's office. It went very badly!

Free Speech Hating Peas in an Anti-Semitic Pod

Free speech in America is under attack, and the people who want to silence Americans' Constitutionally protected right to say things that some people might not like have claimed another victory.